Five years ago my oldest baby was ready to venture out into the world of preschool. After many tears, I sent my then three year old, off to his first day, came home and asked myself what next? It was a great time in my life, I had been freelance writing when I could, but knew I needed something more so I began to brain storm. I was the first of my friends to get married ten years ago, and since then I have loved helping my friends with their weddings. Most of all I loved to entertain, cook and decorate a table. I thought, how perfect I will start my own business, and charge people for my advice, expertise and creative eye. I had good intentions and a passion for helping people create a gorgeous wedding from scratch.
After about 2 years in the industry, I became pretty well known. My friends all oohed and ahhed that I had the best career ever. I was heading to bridal fashion week, working with vendors I had only dreamed would answer my emails and acquiring press from magazines I never thought would publish my work. I even got to the point of hiring some amazing employees that I felt “got” my brand, and my aesthetic. Although I wasn’t rich in dollars, I felt like I was pretty on top of my game, and did so for the next year. During this time I had also started my personal blog La Petite Peach as a “just for fun” creative outlet on the side.
I had some amazing clients, and some majorly difficult clients but then it literally it just hit me one day, after some soul searching, that I hated this job. I missed my son so much, it actually hurt. He was getting so old and way too fast, life was passing me by! I should have noticed sooner, I gained about 20 lbs, my blood pressure was through the roof and I was just –in all honesty– depressed.
It’s tough being judged and used as a punching bag by vendors and clients. I felt like what I thought was a fun and exciting industry, didn’t actually feel like that at all. I have a hard time actually saying that out loud because I wouldn’t want to ever seem like I am “bashing” the wedding industry. I have made some truly amazing, and life long friends by being in this job and what I learned about running a business was truly priceless. I wouldn’t take it back. However, I missed my weekends with my husband, and my baby who was turning 8- just way too fast. I wanted my summers back with my friends, and more importantly, I knew I wanted to have more children. I knew I couldn’t be a good and present mom to my kids, a good friend, sister and wife to my husband and do this. I was ragged to say the least.
In the fall of 2012 I decided that we were officially going to try for another baby, and that I would not take on any more wedding clients. The ones we had in the books, would be the last. I would go back to writing, and blogging. My family, and friends literally thought I was crazy to give up this amazing, and flourishing business. I felt sad to leave too at first, but I knew in my heart of hearts, it was the right thing to do. I needed to find career happinesss.
It took a ton of planning and I still don’t feel like my exit strategy was the best, but it was honest. I was done, and I wanted to be a mom and a writer, that is what makes my heart sing. I mean who could argue with that? Since then, I have put all my creative energy into the blog and I have seen what can come alive when you love what you do, and most importantly you are happy. I finished my very last wedding in October 2013 and I have to honestly say, I have never been happier in my life.
I am present. I love my job, my family, and my life. I so wish I had done this sooner but I am grateful for the experience. Life is too short to not be happy! I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, and this journey has reminded me of that. I will never take my happiness for granted ever again.